Bringing good Scotch to bad Conventions

We're fairies. We have many friends, and we love to give our friends nice presents. Will you be our friend?

Hic.

The Rules

I. Thou shalt bring friends and neighbors good cheer.
- I.a. Good cheer is single malt.
- I.b. Good cheer is 8 or more years old. Older is cheerier.
- I.c. If it's not Scottish, it's Crrrrrrrrrap.
  - I.c.1. As long as you bring good cheer, a little really good Crrrrrrrrrap won't hurt.
II. Thou shalt not serve blended whisky to friends or neighbors.
- II.a. Unfriendly folks, however....
- II.b. Really, really good Crrrrrrrrrrrap, however, gets a pass.
- II.b. Schlitz, Bru, and Blatz are never to be served to anyone who has not given mortal insult or who would not be a Justifyable Homicide.
- II.c. We will pull your wings off if you serve anyone Fortified Wine without having killed them first.
III. Thou shalt serve good cheer freely and without compensation.
- III.a. Other than reciprocal drinks.
  - III.a.1. Hic.
IV. Thou shalt serve only in clean glasses.
- IV.a. Freshly washed (soap) shot glasses or whisky glasses are the best wrappers for presents.
- IV.b. Disposable plastic or paper cups are acceptable but gauche.
- IV.c. If they already have a cup, and it's empty, you can pour into it.
- IV.d. Don't ever ever pass a glass without cleaning it. Those sorts of presents should not be shared.
V. Thou shalt serve only legal adults the hard stuff.
- V.a. Serving minors nonalcoholic drinks is permitted.
- V.b. Other laws may apply. Thou Shalt Check.
- V.c. Violations of the law will result in the Distillery becoming Very Very Angry with you.
  - V.b.i. Obey the Law, not Their Thirst

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